A week and a half ago, I was told that I have cancer.
How could a backache in December turn into cancer by February? After some emotional time with my husband, we sent out the word to friends and family and asked for prayer. The outpouring of love that came back to me through emails and phone calls was so touching to me. The number of people praying for me grew each day and it was an amazing thing to experience. As I’ve said before, I’m pretty shy and have never felt like I have a very large group of friends, but this has shown me otherwise!
Obviously, my husband and I made a vow “through sickness and health” but the degree with which my husband dropped everything to take care of me was phenomenal. He took care of everything from becoming the “information coordinator” and medical secretary to making my meals and helping me get around as the pain medication made me sleepy and light headed. He filled out a million medical forms for me as the shaking in my hands would barely allow me to sign my own name, let alone anything else. I moved from place to place every night trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in and he never complained. My children also showed extreme tenderness and I often found small symbols of love in unexpected places. My daughter even drew a heart for me to find in the lotion covered lid of my face cream. My sons sat with me in the evenings just holding my hand while we watched tv.
But I was to be blessed again when the biopsy came back several days later NEGATIVE for cancer! I don’t know how many people rejoice and celebrate when they hear that they have sarcoidosis, but this family sure did! Since December, I have been “diagnosed” with a compressed nerve, then gallstones, then pancreatitis, then cancer, then sarcoidosis. I even missed 2 days of the 3 day Roots Tech conference because I thought I had food poisoning! (If any of the Kentucky Researchers group I missed having dinner with Friday night are reading this – please accept my apology for missing out!)
When I got over the initial shock of hearing that I had cancer, my thoughts about my genealogy research were “who cares????” I didn’t think I’d ever feel that way, but if I’m being honest, I thought about my filing cabinet of files and thought “what a waste of time and paper!” But by that evening, my thoughts turned more toward thinking about the easiest way to donating the information to the Russell County genealogy society or something. Would they even want it?
That led me to begin thinking about what I’d want future generations to know about me. I’d want them to know how important my relationship with Jesus Christ is as well as my relationships with my family. I’d want them to know how much I enjoy teaching and that I think there’s so much more to it than teaching math procedures. Again, it’s about building relationships and helping others see how to keep priorities straight in life. And this time of sickness has helped me to see my priorities in a new light.
I was surprised to see how quickly my genealogy research priorities changed. Now, I don’t feel quite as compelled to find the next date or name for my chart, but I now have a deeper desire to try to find out more about the lives of my ancestors and what relationships they built during their lives. Exactly how I’m going to do that, I’m not sure, but when I get my strength back, it will be fun trying!
>>> “I now have a deeper desire to try to find out more about the lives of my ancestors and what relationships they built during their lives.”
For me, stories are much more important than names, dates, and places. And they’re just as much fun to uncover – so much of it is reading between the lines, researching historical context, and using your imagination. And newspapers!
Blessings to you and healing thoughts!
Hope you are feeling better . Just do what you need to keep your strength and health up – that’s the main priority . When you are stronger , you may need the ” genealogy ” work to keep busy and your mind off things.Raise your children, take care of your husband , and yourself , and you will get back to it like all of us do .
So sorry to here that you have been so ill. Praise God that it was not cancer! Although sarcoidosis is also a very serious illness it is treatable and hopefully yours will go into remission very soon. Sending prayers for a happy healthy life for you and those who love you.
What a heart-wrenching week and a half that must have been for you! I know exactly what you mean about those initial feelings, because I went through the same feelings when I first heard about my cancer. It really makes you see things–everything–differently.
You do go back to “square one” with that type of experience, and I appreciate your focus on those “firsts” in relationships: Jesus Christ and family. What would we do without those uplifting prayers and hands that hold us up during these times?
That’s why I’ve turned aside from calling what I do “genealogy.” It is much more a seeking after the history of relationships and how the essence of those most important connections have been passed down to me, to my husband, to our families. I prefer to call it “family history research” now.
I hope you fully recover from your health crisis soon–and that when you do, you have a fresh focus on what you are now seeking.
I’m so glad to hear you do not have cancer! Hoping you are feeling better soon.
Sorry we weren’t able to meet at RootsTech.
Michelle,
I actually saw you across the room – I think maybe at the Evernote session – but I was starting to feel that I was having some “stomach issues” and wasn’t feeling like I should be spreading anything…
So sorry we didn’t meet, I was really looking forward to it!
Lisa
Hi Lisa ~ So glad to hear that it’s not cancer!! Sounds like you have a wonderful support system all around. I appreciate you writing this post – it really highlights what is important in all of our lives.
Wow. I hope you’re feeling better. I know from personal experience what a brush with your own mortality feels like. It re-orients your entire life. It burns away the chaff of all the things we think are important down to the things that are essential. In that way, such an experience is a blessing even though it may not feel that way at the time. You have my prayers for complete healing.